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Writer's pictureAndye Murphy

Your Gold is in the Shadows

As a kid I knew my purpose was big. I proclaimed at 19 that I was here to serve and guide the women… my boyfriend scoffed a bit pointing out all of the places of my own messiness. And I shut it down. I denied my gold because who the heck did I think I was.


So much of my own journey has been in harvesting the gold within. Silencing the voices from outside that tell me I can’t or I shouldn’t and listening instead to the quiet intuition within.


I’ve spent years in therapy, shadow work, somatic healing, inner child tending. I’ve wept at the feet of the great mother in plant ceremonies. I’ve been called out on my shit by those friends who know me the best. I’ve lost communities as I’ve grown and changed so expansively and so often.


Now the loss hardly hits. I've gained resiliency. I am in my authority and I never knew it could feel so solid.

Each time something leaves, more space is made for me to expand. New communities come in more dazzling than I had known before. New lovers appear blasting past the greatness of each prior. I get to love people like you who blow my damn mind and heart on the daily.


Sweet love, each loss is an upgrade! 


My messiness, your messiness, is the gold waiting to be evolved.


Quick Egyptian Mystery key here:


the blackest, grossest, heaviest of your shit is the most potent of your magic waiting to be evolved

My messiness wasn’t a reason not to, it was pointing me to where my greatness lay. 


Your messiness will evolve and refine you. It will show you what to tend.


But so often we look away in horror and wish it wasn’t there at all.


I think it was in a Layla Martin podcast where she talked about the gargoyle at the entry of the temple.


Your gargoyle, your most despicable and vile,is the guardian of your greatness.


When you can befriend and soothe the gargoyle, honor and listen to your fears, the very best of you opens. 


And so it is with your Gold. When you can transmute the heaviness of your chosen lot, you evolve yourself, your family, and the lineage. As we expand beyond personal transformation, we affect the collective and truly herald in this Golden Age!


Let’s go lover!

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